Before I go on with this post, I would like to wish all fathers, a Happy Papa's Day! You are always the yes' to the no's from mamas around the world :D
If you may have noticed, I
My parents were separated when I was about 10 years old but honestly, I didn't feel anything when he went away. All I know back then was that he gave my sisters and I a Barbie doll each and said he will see us every weekend while packing up boxes of things into his car.
I didn't really understand what was going on even after Mama told us that we're going to see him once a week. But it got to me when I was in Standard 6 during my primary school when one of my friends told me that my parents were divorced. I was really nonchalant about it though since I think I got used to it. Now, we still meet once a year or when we need to but really, it doesn't matter to me. All I know is that he is still my father no matter what happens and I should respect him, that's all.
Because to me, Atok is the one acting as a father to me and my sisters. Hey, actions do speak louder than words. I have Atok who drives me to school in the morning, picks me up in the afternoon and drives me again to afternoon religious school and pick me up after that. That was the usual routine that I had along with my sisters. My late grandma was the one who cooks for us and helps us get dressed while singing and watching her favourite shows on the television. Oh gosh, writing this out makes me miss Nenek so much. Al-fatihah to her. Mama would check on us after she comes back from work and would bring us to our music lessons during the weekends. It was pretty much normal to me up until high school.
Sometimes, I do get a little jealous over my friends who still have both their parents together. You can see the dynamics of their parents and they way they act with each other just how much care they have. To my friends whose parents are still together, be thankful and cherish them cause it took them a lot of hard work to make the relationship last this long. To those who don't, you're not alone. In fact, your single parent is somewhat a superhero. They could do things that requires two people. How amazing is that?! :D I am just glad Atok and Nenek stood by Mama when everything else was failing or I'm sure my sisters and I would not be where we are now.
It has been four years since Nenek left us and all I have now is Mama and Atok. Oh Atok, there are so many things that I am so proud of you and things that just drives me up to the wall sometimes. But my love for you just grew bigger everyday.
After all the scolding that I get for getting home late, for crashing my aunt's car with my big sister when we were 13 and 15 years old (big sister got straight A's in her PMR after that haha), being dragged to climb the trees to collect the fruits cause Atok's legs are weak to climb it. All the memories I have with Atok are precious to me.
I love it when he starts to tell his adventure stories when he was in the army. How tough it was coming from a family who could only afford to eat when the crops were good. The distance he would have to walk to school from his house since he could not afford to buy a bicycle. He would always remind me to be thankful for everything that I have now and he is always happy that he could provide his family and didn't have to go through the things he went through before.
To me, Atok is a genius. He skipped two years of primary school, jumping from Standard 2 to Standard 5. He wanted to go to college but since he had no funds, he chose to join the Malayan Armed Forces. He was a disciplined man (not like his granddaughters :p), who worked really hard, sincere and stand by his principles.
He was one of the few that was chosen to attend military training in the British Military Academy in Sandhurst, England. He would send the money he had back home to my late great-grandmother and make sure his little brothers are taken care of properly. He really was the father of his family since my great-grandfather passed away when Atok was only 7 years old. When Atok was 40 years old, the army sent him to Manchester to study a degree course for one year. ONE YEAR okay. It's like doing Masters except 3 years worth of study all cramped into one year! But my Atok pulled it off and graduated with flying colours! He retired holding one of the top posts in the army just amazes me.
Along the way, he was the financial controller of the family. He was and is still wise on what he needs to spend, something I still need to learn from him cause I can't stop shopping :p He plans his investments, minimise spending on unnecessary items like new clothes every month (unlike his second granddaughter who buys every week. Eeks okay got to stop), he buys properties and develop them so it could generate income. All that was worth it because today, he managed to send his granddaughter to study in the UK. And I could not be more thankful for this opportunity. He is religious and pious. He knows how to bring himself around and whenever he's not worried on something, his smile is the best smile I could ever dream of.
Happy Father's Day Atok. You will always be the father to me. Oh and you'll get the card by this week. I forgot to send it off while I was keeping my head in my dissertation. I love you!
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