the racing heart: the first meeting

I have tried writing countless of time to make it as short as possible but it just turned out long so I had them divided into a few parts :)

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It's a mistake for me to over-generalise that everyone has had their heart racing for a certain reason but I'd like to think that for now.

I have never had my heart beat as fast as it did for few years now up until last two weeks. You might think that it sounds bad but to me, it's actually a blessing in disguise.

I had actually prayed for that feeling to come and Alhamdulillah, He answered my prayers, albeit not exactly how I wanted but I'll understand when the real reason comes. Since becoming partner-less for  almost four years, partly due to the wall I built to refrain myself from getting hurt again and also because I enjoy the solitude. I love it so much that I thought I had lost the capability to ever have at least a bit of crush to another person.

So I prayed that one night before going to a career fair in London end of March asking Him to at least let me feel what it's like and let me know if I am still human without expecting when and how it will happen. I know it's a bit dramatic but I just need to have that concern addressed.

At the Malaysian Career Fair right before I bumped into him

Truly He is the Almighty, I bumped into an old colleague from the place I was interning before, when I was on my way out from the hotel the career fair was held. I didn't notice him at first but I did see a guy pointing his finger at me while making a ridiculously funny face.

I thought he was pointing to someone who was behind me but as I glanced back, I didn't see anybody. He kept on doing that face until he shouted my name. Surprised by that it was my turn to make the weirdest face I could possibly imagine and asked "who are you?".

He uttered his name and I still couldn't figure out who he was until he mentioned the department he worked for. It has been a couple of years since I last did my internship and I didn't exactly keep in touch with some of the people there. He was one of them (if you're reading this, oopsie sorry :p).

He was pursuing his Masters here just like I am and honestly, it is the last place I would expect to bump into someone from the past. We even had each other's numbers! Since I was rushing back home, he texted me telling me if I was ever in the area where he was staying we could catch up.

We did the next day and surprisingly, for two people whose topic would consist of only work-related topics few years ago and never had anything beyond that, we talked as if we've known each other for a very long time. We were very open with each other and we could just practically talk about anything.

But the one thing that caught me and I remembered it til this day was how he said that he wants to get married but he didn't have anybody in mind, i.e. he's still single. It went on like this,

Him: I want to get married

Me: Oh are you engaged? *feeling delighted so I could congratulate him*

Him: No *saying it while grinning*

Me: Then, you have a girlfriend? *starting to doubt his next answer*

Him: No *he laughed*

Me: Then who are you going to marry? Haha

Him: That's the problem. I don't know *he said sheepishly*

I just had a huge laugh when he said that. But at that moment, that was one of the point where I thought he was the person I might end up with. 

By the end of the day, we said our goodbyes and on the train ride back, I caught myself smiling to myself.  This has not happened for a very long time and I just had that warm, tingly, good feeling. I haven't met someone that I could just click instantly for a very very long time and I just had that feeling that he was the one. 

Crazy right? How you can meet someone and you suddenly have that feeling like they're going to be your life partner. 

But, I must warn you, things may have not go as you'd expect.

To be continued