just a little update.....

Wow... that was a very emotional post and it has definitely been left longer than I ought it to be. 

So what's going on dear blog? Does anybody ever read blogs anymore. Regardless of it, I just had a sudden urge to come back to this sane place of mine. 

A lot have happened these past few months. Hearts were broken, feelings were cold, but nevertheless chin still held high. Work became the filler to distract any emotions attempting to break through the walls. 

Despite that, I managed to find silver linings in between and things to be thankful for. Two of my friends are pregnant and will be giving birth in September and November. One of my friends might have just found 'The One'. Another friend just got engaged (just got back from her engagement ceremony and it was lovely). And I finally met her friends who are going to be bridesmaids side by side with me! :D 

A funny story during the event. I was looking around at the crowd and at one point I spot a charming looking lad in complete baju melayu and songkok. Our eyes met a few times whenever I had my eyes wandering around. Somehow, just somehow, I caught his eyes and my thoughts just drifted to a dreamy scene. I was thinking 'what a charming lad. I can imagine us being together and have a family together and I would love him endlessly (yes, my thoughts could go anywhere it wants).

I didn't notice that he was actually looking at me too and it was a tad bit too long that I only realised I was staring when he started to crack a smile and nodded at me :/

God knows how embarrassed I felt at that time. I mean, he is my friend's (who was getting engaged) brother! He did have a very calm look that I look in a partner. Hey, a dramatic, emo, over-the-top partner is enough in a relationship. Being that, I do look for those who can calm me down. Or just to complement me. 

Chop! We are moving to another topic. Let's get back to the main story. After he smiled at me, I returned his grin and I can clearly remember how my face were scrunching 'cause I was thinking, did I just stared at him? 

I tried to avoid looking at him but while I was selecting the food, he suddenly came near me and had a little chat. He commented how little my food was and I told him I just came from another event and had a full meal. Seriously, after that I thought to myself that I could continue talking to him but Izzah being Izzah, I did not approach him after.

Before you ask me if he's single, last I know was that he is but my friend has been trying to match her friends. So wish me luck that he is still single. HAHA!

Anyhow, makeup wise, I finally own a huge vanity mirror which I bought over from Instagram (insert superstar pose haha!). I also think I am getting better at doing my own makeup and using products that really suit my skin. I might just share the steps that I take for a full makeup routine for events and that lasts long. Stay tuned for that.

On another note, I have managed to gained weight (the heaviest I have ever been T_T!) even after working tirelessly. Some people tells me that I am happy. Deep down inside, I just feel I have not been taking care of my body the way I should. Pretty sure the Almighty is a bit upset on that (sorry! I promise I'll eat right and do some work out). Speaking of which, I finally resumed my yoga practice (checkout Yoga with Adriene, she's the best). I have to admit, it was a good session. My body instantly feel lighter! 

I did find a centre that could treat scoliosis and do yoga/pilates at the same time. It's just that it's a bit too far from where I work. Okay, maybe I should just book an appointment and take it from there. No harm in trying, right?

Oh yea, I am still in the media industry, radio to be exact and it has been a little more than a year (hoorayyy!!!). Who would have known I can finally stick to doing one thing far longer than I expected. 

We will be having an event called Betul-Betul Live @ ChillX and Akim & the Majistret is coming! Secure your seats okay!

It's time for me to retire to bed. Until next time! Toodles!

guarded

When you thought it was going to go right for you, 

and all along you have been ignoring your guts, 

and when it came, 

you're just trapped in your cracked little kaleidoscope, 

where you have been living when you met him, 

the one he help created with faded ink.

So you try to bring everything together,

tying those loose ends,

patching the nooks and crooks,

holding what is left for you.

But none of it could stand together,

because it wasn't meant to be together,

it tore itself,

it tore you,

it tore what's left of you.

So you build an even bigger, thicker, taller wall,

to guard your broken pieces,

to protect yourself,

to never let anyone else come in.

No one.

tonight is for you

4th December 2016

Today, I met with one of your students. He was a volunteer at a program the company I'm working for. It did not occur to me that he was your student until I asked, from where he was.

One of the kids we were taking care of blurted out that he appeared on a radio program at International Islamic University Malaysia, (IIUM). 

Me: Oh are you studying there?

Him: Yes

Me: What course?

Him: Architecture

And all of the sudden, a flashback to where I met you on the bus on the way to Singapore, on my very first solo trip, just strike of, running through my mind.

Me: Oh, I met with one of your seniors *told him your name* I met him when I was alone, travelling to Singapore.

Him: Oh yes, he was my lecturer. He's now in...

Me: Yes, in the UK doing Masters. He's really great

Him: Yup. He is. He's one of the best student in Architecture and he's really well known

An I just uttered, "Yup, I bet he is" while recollecting picturesque fragment heavily circulating my mind at that moment. 

You drawings, your murals, your poems. Your pantun. The way you articulate your words. The sketches you had in your notebook. The way you bring yourself. The classic old songs you listen to. The movie you watched in the bus that made me looked for it as soon as I got back from the trip. The stories you told me during our break at Yong Peng rest area. Your favourite building, still in construction at that time. Which is finally completed when I had another visit to Singapore the year after.

And then I remembered the LinkdIn request you sent me a couple of weeks back. Thank you for reminding me of you. 

Although it was a brief meet, it was more than memorable. It was heartfelt, it was inspiring, and it was up-lifting. Thank you for showing that being able to feel is not a terrible thing. But to channel the feel into artworks was even more fulfilling. I hope our connection does not end here and we will meet again when He says we are ready. 

#metaloci

travel bags

Leaving UK for good

Travel bags.... Urgh, I still remember that one time before I leave UK for good, I had this one major catastrophe where my packed-with-a-year's-worth-of-clothes and God knows what luggage just dropped. And the handle was crooked. And I can't push it down, hence there's no way I can check the luggage in -___-

But God showed some mercy on me as it happened when I was staying at one of my cousin's house. So a lovely couple from next door, graciously lend me their huge hammer (are you starting to imagine scary movies? Yeah, me too. But they're not haha).

The wind is not blowing my way

How on Earth do I fix this -__-

My aim was just to make sure the handle can be pushed down. With all the strength I have left after travelling for 2 weeks, I started to just ham one of the handles until it became almost straight. That was A LOT of effort! I had no plans that day so I took my time to fix it. Rewarded myself with a bowl of spaghetti bolognese made by yours truly. Hey nothing like a homemade meal can make you feel good, right? :D

Ever since that day, I vow to make sure I choose and pack my stuff properly before each trip. But I'm sure I'm not the only one who's concerned about this so I thought I'd share with you the types of travel bags I'd bring along in a trip.

1. Duffle Bag

Duffle bag is the simplest yet stylish bag choice you could carry along on your short vacation. Hey, you want to still be cute in case you bump into your potential partner okay :D There are plenty of cute duffle bags designs available but choose the one that suit your personal style. Grab your clothes, makeup, toiletries and maybe a book and you'll have nothing to worry about during your relaxing time.

2. Backpack

If you prefer to travel light and hate carrying heavy bags with you, backpacks are perfect for you to carry on during a short vacation. Or a 3-week long trip like I did! My trusted backpack is currently with my friend in the UK since I didn't have enough space to fit in my luggage. But when I first got the backpack, I didn't know I could fit so much in it! It was only a 35L Karrimor backpack I got from Sports Direct which I intended to use for only a bit. But boyyyyy.... I got attached to it! Even my friends who borrowed it says it could pack A LOT! Easy to move around and no check-in require during flights, definitely one of my go-to! I love you backpack!

3. Small Trolley Case

This one is for you or me, when I am extra lazy. Some of you might love carrying all the stuff you need and prefer to bring some extra items with you. With a small trolley case, or I like to call it bag tarik, I don't need to worry about feeling pain on my back or having to find massage centre just because my shoulders are aching. Don't worry about looking sluggish 'cause a small trolley case always makes you look cute ;) Take a mini trolley case and you can definitely fill in the more items compare to a duffle bag and a backpack.

And those are the types of travel bags I'd bring along during a trip. Now.... I just need one trolly case for my makeup :|

#makeupjunkie
#ineedhelp
#ineedtostopbuyingmore

'Til then, toodles!

burnt top

When you get so excited for your friend's wedding and you're one of the bridesmaid, you just can't contain it! But this is not a happy story. 

Long story short, I burnt a part of my bridesmaid's dress.

*Cries for infinity*

T_T

AAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I cannot explain how sad, shocked, irritated, frustrating, annoying and other vocabulary that can explain exactly how I am feeling. And the wedding is two days away! Can you imagine how I am super flabbergasted this happened to me? 

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

At times I feel like I have bad luck and the things I chant to myself whenever something bad happens:

'Why does this have to happen to me now'

'I have bad luck all over me'

'Why can't it happen at anyone else?'

'Why does it have to happen to this dress?'

You see, I just got back from a karaoke session with my officemate (yes I am finally working!) and I was so pumped up to continue blinging up my bridesmaid top. It was just past midnight. I pulled the iron board into my room to make sure I don't get hot and sweaty in the hall. Set the iron at 'Cotton' level and started to arrange the diamonds placement.

I layered an old scarf to protect the diamonds to avoid damaging the shine. When the iron's light switched off, I picked it up and place it at the left side of the clothes' bottom part and count til 5 seconds.

'I think that should be long enough. Let's pick it up', I thought to myself.

'Hold on. Why is the top sticking to the iron? Did I accidentally turned the glue part of the diamond upside down?', I started panicking.

Lifting the iron slowly, a part of the material lifted and there was just a medium-size hole in my top now.

F.M.L.

T_T

I didn't know how to react. I was shocked but I didn't know what to do. All I could think of is to switch off the iron and analyse the top.

'WHAT HAVE I DONEEEEE????!!!!!'

Then all thoughts started to flood into my mind.

'I'm need to wear this on Friday! But how am I going to wear it with this hole?!'

*criessssss*

I immediately snapped a picture of it and send it to my friend who's getting married. Thank goodness she was on the phone and straightaway replied me. By that time I wasn't in the mood to text so I gave her a call. Explain the whole situation and she suggested to bring it to her tailor so the tailor can try to fix it.

Other than that, she said, I don't think I can do anything further but to put my head to sleep. Honestly, it was the least peaceful sleep I ever had. I was constantly thinking about it I dreamed of it!

This morning, I head out early to drop the burnt top along with an extra piece of cloth another friend of mine gave for her bridesmaid. It was the only piece that has the nearest colour to the top and it was my only hope.

Thank goodness my friend told me that her tailor is able to patch it up and have it ready for Friday's event but she suggested to add a little later to cover it up. Let's all pray that it will turn out good.

I will update you again once I get my hands of the top.

#prayforizzah
#prayreallyreallyhard
#continuetocry

Until then.

my favourite beauty vloggers

Who knew having extra time on your hands could help you to discover A LOT of great beauty vloggers? Plus point to me! These past months of chilling at home has just made me drawn to watching beauty videos, day in, day out. I would at least watch a minimum of 3 hours of these types of videos which consequently lead me to discover an array of other talented beauty enthusiasts as well.

Before you read on, watch this first :D

I personally like to refer to them as 'vlogger' instead of 'guru' 'cause some of them are not even makeup artists or never been to any classes but they love to try out beauty items and share it with others. I would love to do that too but I'm just to shy to put myself in front of everyone and talk as if I know every single thing about it. No. That is not me. I can talk a lot, like really too much, but when you put me in front of a camera, every thing just jumbles up :/

Anyways, on behalf of my shy-self, these are the top beauty vloggers I have been watching constantly to give advice, tips and tricks for all things beauty without any rank.

1. Tati



Your only Glam Life Guru. Perhaps the only lady that uploads 5, FIVE videos every week. I know, that is A LOT considering most makeup vloggers upload 3 videos, the most, every week. The former makeup artist tries out beauty products from the cheapest to the highest existed. That is how dedicated this talented lady in making sure her audience is given the best of everything. I only discovered her lat last year and I was hooked ever since like a cat tied to a string forever. My life would feel incomplete without watching her videos every day and I am not even being dramatic. Check her out here.

2. Cosmobyhaley

A beauty school graduate who started to record snippets of her makeup looks, posting it to Instagram and finally made a YouTube channel due to high demand of beauty enthusiasts to see her work. Haley hails from Oregon went straight to beauty school instead of college and never regrets her decision. You have to watch her makeup tutorials, simply because she makes it so so SO EASY to recreate a sophisticated makeup using a range of affordable and high-end makeup. One of the best looks that is also my favourite is this:



I mean, come on. Creativity all bottled up in this girl! Watch her other works here!

3. Kathleen Lights

I swear if you don't know her, you've been living under a rock cause she has 2 million subscribers on her YouTube channel and definitely one of the most down to earth personality I've seen! She strives to find and use affordable, or like the Americans like to say, drugstore items. I swear she makes me jealous how much good drugstore products they have overseas while we have the not so good ones. If you watch her first videos, you can see that her character has not changed at all. She's still the same as she was before and she gives a lot of good suggestions for those who doesn't have bucks to spend. Go to her channel here!

4.  Morgan - The Beauty Breakdown

Good Morgan everyone! That is how she starts each video with haha! I love love her! Probably the only person that tries and reviews K-Beauty products the most on her channel and she goes in-depth into each product! She's always cheerful and she has this bubbly personality that could just cheer you up every time you see her. Those you would love to try Korean beauty products, watch her channel and you'll be amazed. Watch now here! :D

5. Casey Holmes

I honestly watch her because she always reviews full-coverage foundation due to her rosacea and she has the same type of skin as I do. Oily skin! Yes, the dreaded oily skin, although mine has been super dry, sensitive and flaky lately but I've managed to calm it down to a normal skin. Phewww. Anyways, since I do have scars from previous acne history, I have always loved the way she reviews foundations because you can truly see which foundation gives the most coverage. I don't always pile on foundation but when there is a need to, I will refer to this girl right here.

6. Young, Wild and Polished

You should follow her SnapChat too! She is one hilarious friend that you can have and she'll tell you if something doesn't look good on you. She rambles a lot too but most of the time do reviews on a lot of products. I don't know why but I seriously love her! Watch what I mean here.

7. Jaclyn Hill

If you're down and you need an uplift, this girl is here for you. Watch her and you'll feel like jumping all over the place! She is one woman that loves, obsessed and gets excited to talk about makeup anytime. Her Snapchat is crazy too! A former makeup artist but I believe she is a full-time Youtuber now, she had also created a highlighter with Becca called Champagne Pop that has been given rave reviews! If you own one, you know what I'm talking 'bout. Watch her in action here!

8. Lisa Eldrige

Discovered her when one of my guy friends introduced me to this makeup artist. Yes, she still is a full-time makeup artist and does have a video up on her YouTube every now and then. If you don't want to see the full on 3 inches block of makeup, watch her. She is so graceful in doing her and others' makeup look. The way she speaks calms you and you can see the flick of her hand when she uses the brush to swipe on any face that she is a truly an artist. I'm really surprised that she can cover a blemished skin without using tons of products on and just working her way through the tiny details with just concealer! Don't believe me? Watch her in action here. Be amazed!

9. Wayne Goss

Another of my favourite, favourite makeup artist that I wish I could hire him to do my makeup every single day. A British lad who started YouTube long time ago and has since shared many, many unforgettable makeup tips and tricks that can be used even now. One of the reasons that I love with watch his videos is because it's on point, straightforward and presented in a very simple way. No rambling, no ranting. Just pure real talk. Don't waste your time and just watch him here okay!

10. Shonagh Scott

I discovered here late last year through one of the 'Recommended Videos' YouTube has at the side bar. I don't know what these British people have but the way they explain things seem to be so much on the calmer side. Similar to Lisa Eldrige, she explains things thoroughly in makeup tutorials and give tips and tricks other normal beauty vloggers don't seem to have knowledge of. She studied at a beauty school and even has SFX tutorials that blows my mind each and every time. Definitely give her a go :D



And those are my favourite beauty vloggers as of now. I'm really into makeup and beauty these days so if you have any other person I should try to watch, please please PLEASE let me know! I would love to get to know them. Hope you had fun with the video and I'll talk to you soon.

Toodles!